The importance of the environment around the gifted child

It has been very busy the past few weeks. There was a flood of new registrations, some with a fairly standard story, others a lot more intense. But all of them with a fairly significant or urgent need for help. Parents feeling completely at a loss, unsure how to support their gifted or highly able child, not being heard at school, sometimes having already gone through a long process, without any result. Parents who are searching —for information, guidance, and understanding. 

During an intake session, we aim to address these concerns. In addition to listening carefully to the story, it is our goal to answer the most pressing questions, outline the path forward, and ensure that parents know how to proceed —whether with or without guidance.

It is of course important to understand during an intake interview which challenges parents face with their children, but that is not enough. Mapping the environment, the system (friends, school and family) around the child is a crucial step in this. After all, we know that if the environment is sufficiently adapted to the needs and expectations of a child, it will be much easier for a child to feel good and do well. Many challenges that parents face can already be (partially) solved in this way.

When it comes to friends, it’s important that gifted or highly gifted children have as much contact as possible with peers at a similar developmental level. These can be cognitively strong children or older children. This helps them connect more easily, build deeper relationships, mirror their social and emotional behavior to others, and develop a more realistic self-image—all of which contribute significantly to a child’s well-being.”

At school, it’s important that children learn, among other things, how to work and how to handle failure. To achieve this, it is absolutely essential that they are regularly pushed out of their comfort zone. This has several benefits:

• Children learn essential skills such as making an effort, persevering in difficult situations, accepting criticism, making mistakes, asking for help, and working in a disciplined and focused way
• They “learn to learn” and develop various learning strategies, which are necessary when tackling more difficult or larger amounts of material.
• Children really build self-confidence, something they can only develop by stepping outside their comfort zone

Teachers must of course have sufficient knowledge of giftedness or high intelligence, so that they know how to guide these children in the classroom in the best possible way.

Within the family, the best starting point as a parent is to learn as much as possible about giftedness or high intelligence, in all its aspects. The more you know as a parent, the better you support your child, recognize warning signs early and better understand what might be going wrong. So read books, watch webinars or attend theme evenings. Every little bit helps. 

Finally, it is also advisable to take your child's giftedness into account as much as possible in everyday parenting. The “Positive Discipline” method aligns perfectly with this approach: it supports their need for autonomy, builds self-confidence and teaches children important life skills.

By focusing on the environmental factors mentioned above, we make it much easier for children to develop well and fully realize their gifted of highly gifted potential. 

Oh yes, for the sake of completeness, it's also worth mentioning that sometimes a child may need professional support from a coach or psychologist. Challenges such as underachievement, fixed mindset, loss of motivation, perfectionism or fear of failure can then be addressed in greater depth. But it’s important to work not only with the child but also with the system around them. That always gives the best result!

This blog was written by coach Bjorn Zwakhoven.